R U OK Day is a vital part of Australia’s mental health landscape. It’s a fantastic reminder to check in with each other. It encourages us to stop, ask and really listen to the people around us, reminding us to check in with friends, family and colleagues, asking a simple but powerful question: Are you okay?
While this annual event has started many important conversations, relying on just one day a year to touch base about mental health is simply not enough, especially for emergency service workers, who deal with trauma and pressure daily. Think about it: police officers, firefighters and paramedics are often exposed to tough, traumatic situations on a regular basis. Whether it’s the scene of an accident, a fire, or a high-stakes emergency, the mental toll can build up over time.
Lasting support requires more than an annual check-in—it requires ongoing conversations and a commitment to create a supportive environment where people feel comfortable opening up whenever they need help.
How to Check In More Regularly
We all want to be there for the people in our lives, but knowing how to offer that support consistently can feel challenging. Checking in regularly doesn’t have to be a heavy or formal conversation each time. For emergency service workers, who are used to dealing with high-pressure situations, what they often need is a reminder that support is available to them whenever they need it. The goal is to create a sense of ongoing, open communication, so that when someone is struggling, they feel comfortable speaking up. It’s not about waiting for a crisis—it’s about showing up consistently and being present in their lives. Here are some simple, practical ways to check in more often without it feeling forced or awkward.
Daily or Weekly Touchpoints
Consistency is key when it comes to checking in. It doesn’t always have to be a deep, emotional conversation. In fact, keeping things light can often make it easier for someone to feel comfortable when the time comes to share more. A simple, “How’s everything going?”, during a coffee break or a quick text like, “Thinking about you today, hope all’s good,” is enough to show that you care.
You don’t need to wait for the perfect moment. Emergency workers, in particular, are often short on time, so making these check-ins part of your routine—whether daily, weekly, or after a tough shift—can really help. This can be as casual as a quick text convo over lunch or a phone call during a quiet moment at the station.
Look Out for the Little Things
First responders get very good at keeping their emotions in check while on the job, often out of necessity. Because of this, signs of stress, anxiety, or even burnout might not be immediately obvious. It’s essential to keep an eye out for subtle changes in behaviour. Maybe your usually chatty colleague has gone quiet, or someone who’s normally upbeat seems short-tempered or withdrawn.
These small shifts can be indicators that something deeper is going on. In these moments, a gentle nudge can make all the difference. Something as simple as, “Hey, I noticed you’ve been a bit off lately—everything okay?” can open the door for them to share what’s really going on. Even if they’re not ready to talk at that moment, it reassures them that someone is paying attention and cares enough to ask.
Keep the Conversation Open
The key to making regular check-ins effective is to keep the door open for future conversations. Not every check-in will result in someone opening up, and that’s okay. It’s about showing that you’re there, consistently, and that it’s always safe to talk when they’re ready.
The more frequently you touch base, the easier it becomes for someone to feel comfortable reaching out when they do need to talk. Maybe today’s check-in is just a light chat, but down the line, they’ll remember that you’ve been there all along. Regular chats create a foundation of trust and safety that makes those harder conversations easier when the time comes.
How to Approach Conversations with Empathy and Understanding
Emergency workers are so used to putting on a brave face that it’s difficult to open up, even when they’re struggling. This is why it’s important to approach these conversations with genuine care and empathy, creating an environment where they feel safe to talk without fear of judgement. Here’s how to ensure that your check-ins are as supportive as possible:
- Listen More, Talk Less: Often, people don’t need solutions right away—they just need someone to listen without judgement. Offer your full attention and resist the urge to immediately jump in with advice. Let them know you’re really listening by maintaining eye contact, nodding, and offering simple affirmations like, “I hear you,” or “That sounds really tough.”Simply being there and offering your full attention can make them feel supported in a way that goes beyond words.
- Ask Open-Ended Questions: For emergency workers, who deal with traumatic situations on a regular basis, the question, “Are you okay?” can sometimes feel loaded or hard to answer honestly. Instead of “Are you okay?” (which can be answered with a yes or no), try asking, “How are you feeling about everything that’s been going on?” or “Is there anything you want to talk about?” These kinds of questions encourage a more honest, open response. If they seem hesitant, reassure them that there’s no pressure to say anything they don’t want to.
- Avoid Minimising: If a first responder does share that they’re feeling overwhelmed or stressed, it’s important to validate those feelings.Comments like “It’ll be fine” or “Don’t worry about it” can unintentionally shut down a conversation. Instead, acknowledge the person’s feelings and let them know it’s okay to feel the way they do. You might say, “That sounds really challenging. I’m so glad you felt comfortable sharing that with me.” This reassures them that you’re there to support them, no matter what they’re going through.
- Follow Up: If someone does confide in you, don’t let it end there. If someone shares something difficult with you, remember to check back in a few days later. It can be as simple as, “Hey, I’ve been thinking about what we talked about the other day—how are you feeling now?”. This shows that you’re not just checking in because it’s expected, but because you genuinely care about their well-being.
Supporting Mental Health Year-Round
While R U OK Day is a great opportunity to start important conversations about mental health, mental health isn’t something that can be neatly addressed in one day. Encouraging regular dialogue about mental well-being helps to normalise these conversations, making it easier for people to reach out when they need help.
By consistently reaching out, staying observant, and approaching conversations with empathy, we can help create a space where emergency workers feel safe to open up—not just when things reach a breaking point, but anytime they need to talk.
If someone you know could benefit from more structured support, Hope in Health is here to help. Whether they are returning to work after a traumatic incident or stepping into a new season of life, we offer specialised rehabilitation programs for emergency service workers, helping them take the next step towards recovery and well-being.
Hope in Health
Phone: 1300 445 671
Email: enquiries@hopeinhealth.com.au
Website: www.hopeinhealth.com.au
Warriors Advocacy
Phone: (02) 8317 5444
Email: admin@warriorsadvocacy.com.au
Website: www.warriorsadvocacy.com.au
